Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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