you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
