i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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