So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
