I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
