so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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