I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
