New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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