apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize