Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
high people should be assigned attendants
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize