i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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