he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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