So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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