Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
