I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
