i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
