I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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