so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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