Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Welp...herpes.
this just has baby written all over it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
