watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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