The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
