I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
