Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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