Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
