I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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