ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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