omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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