What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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