i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
