I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
