I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
