did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize