I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
