my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
