I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
