you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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