So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You pole danced in your parka.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
soo... how was my night?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
