did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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