bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just puked most of my soul out..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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