I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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