You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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