I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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