Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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