OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
