If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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