just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
