I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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