where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
