Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
