Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize