I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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