3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize