I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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