so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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