You work out of a Hotel?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
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I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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