so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
