I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
